Community Without the Commute

I brought a sense of neighborliness into my NYC apartment, and it was a lot easier than I thought it'd be.

May 09, 2025

Origins

Last year I was overcome by this desire to get to know the people that lived in the building, so that when I walked past them in the hallway I could say 'oh hello Jeremy!' and have these small, positive splashes of human interaction in my day-to-day, without needing to plan or go anywhere to make them happen.

I spend a lot of time in the Fractal community, which was built on the concept of living near your friends, and while I'd love to eventually be fully immersed in that lifestyle, I felt befriending my existing neighbors was a much lower bar that I could shoot for.

So after weeks of overthinking, I came up with a plan. I typed up a letter that explained my motives, and setup a link to a Whatsapp group chat. I then printed these letters out, popped them in some fancy envelopes I found on Amazon, and slapped them to the front doors of all 13 units in my building! And then I waited.

One of the many benefits of having a giant piece of cardboard lying around

The Takeoff

I expected low turnout, maybe 4 people, but people were quite responsive, and at this point I've been able to bring almost everyone (if not all) into the chat! I thought that trying to build community would require a lot of work on my end to cultivate, but things quickly transpired in ways I wouldn't have expected.

Once of the key things I focused on was encouraging in-person interaction wherever possible. The Whatsapp group was the initial thread that connected everyone, but neighborliness becomes so much stronger once you can at least get the change to spend 2 minutes talking to someone. I focused on being intentional about saying hello to people in the hallway, and offering tools or blankets in my apartment that I didn't need. I paid close attention to when people were moving in - I would offer to help (they'd always politely decline), and help them get connected to the group chat, and set the tone for the sort of neighborliness that I wanted to foster more of.

One of my neighbors appreciated the initiative, and offered to have a coffee chat! We wound up chatting in the park for a few hours on a warm Saturday afternoon. Later on this same person had to leave town, and so they offered to have me cat-sit!

This is Winx, he's the only cat I've ever witnessed that would jump right into your lap when you came over to visit <3

There's also been plenty of lighter moments, like people in the group chat lending soy sauce or helping someone in that forgot their keys.

Safety

While I came into this for the warm fuzzies of social interaction, I later learned how crucial these connections can be for people in a crisis. At one point someone got trapped inside their apartment, and some neighbors were able to come over right away to help get a door un-stuck.

One night some people woke up to the sounds of someone screaming in the building, and our chat served as a place to check in to understand what was going on - turns out we have new neighbors, their child has autism and was having trouble adjusting to the change of living situation. I made sure to include them in our group chat, and now I've bartered a spare blanket for fresh-baked neighbor bread, with more opportunities for friendly exchanges in the future :)

Support

I'll confess that I did not do this project alone - I benefit a LOT form having source of accountability and being surrounded by people who care about this side project as much as I do. I signed up for the Neighborhood Accelerator Program, which gave me an outlet to ask questions about things I was overthinking, and get a lot of shared insight from people who run into similar problems like "what messaging app do I use?", "how should I design a flyer for an event?", etc..

Conclusion

This project has allowed me to weave happy small moments into the busy life I already live. I don't have to go anywhere to seek them out, they just spontaneously spring up!

I love the description that someone recently gave about how neighborhood building gives you a sense of x-ray vision: now when I walk past the doors in my hallway, I have a sense of the unique and flourishing lives of the people that live behind each of them.

People crave a sense of community, and the barrier is a lot lower than you think. All it takes is someone willing to setup a group chat.

Ian Howe

Discussion about this post

Ready for more?